College Application!

Dear College admission staff,

     I could give you a list, Of every great or semi-great achievement I've done in my life leading up this application like how I've ran the whole great wall of China end to end, And I've been up the CN towers elevator a few times over and I've also never broken a bone but you'd never believe that if you knew all of the action sports i participated in.
     Although my marks haven't always been the best, I've struggled in math I've struggled In science and I've most definietly struggled in English. But outside of school I've learned to snowboard with shaun white, I have Dirt biked with Travis Pastrana and best of all, Myself has sat in the pop-mobile. But after awhile I got bored with myself and decided to help some other people out, I Gave Martin Luther King his famous speech, I gave Mahatma Gandhi the Idea of a hungerstrike and I gave Arnold Schwarzenegger the phrase "I'll be back". I'm also a better chef then Gordon Ramsays.
      After I grew up and stopped chasing my own physical achievements I coached Paul anderson to back lift 6270Lb's after I back lifted 7000, I Coached Usain Bolt I practicilly Coached him to walk and you know Sidney Crosby? I coached his slapshot till it was perfect. But don't worry I don't want any credit im not that kind of person.
     People sometime ask me how did i climb everst at the age of 15 or how I am able to walk on water or how I earned the trust of the president. I tell them It just came naturally.
The one thing I haven’t done is applied for admission to college, Writing this now I feel like it’s going to be one of the hardest achievements of my life and if I do manage to obtain it I could almost call my life complete in away? Applying for college is like wrestling a bear.